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Your comprehensive guide to effective communication to become a better listener and better speaker

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بواسطة طالب محترف (3.8ألف نقاط)  
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This article will focus on basic communication skills and language patterns that are essential to becoming a better listener and better speaker, which will be the basis for developing trust and improving any kind of relationship

How do I make sure I fully understand the other person? How do I make my true intentions clear? These questions and many more will be answered in this article. Enjoy

The quality of our lives is directly affected by the quality of our relationships, and it is good communication that allows us to deepen our relationships and build trust.

However, because we communicate imperfectly, it is often difficult to understand the person we interact with and to make sure that trust is built and maintained

That's why it's so important to improve the ability to communicate well. This article provides just some ideas and is by no means comprehensive, but it can serve as an excellent starting point

Different people, different perspectives.

It is our fundamental beliefs that influence how we see the world, and these beliefs can be considered different lenses by which we look at our surroundings, and affect how we perceive things, and therefore how we behave.

In NLP, internal perceptions of our perceptions are called descriptive programming. It's a specific tendency about our understanding of the world and therefore how we behave.

Although these tendencies are not fully proven and provide only a rough idea of human behavior, they allow us to learn about patterns and better understand others' vision of the world and thereby improve our communication.

How communication can fail

Danger of judgment

By realizing that people have different preferences to understand the world, we can avoid the trap of judging people very quickly, which is critical to developing trust

Where does the verdict come from?

The verdict ultimately stems from the failure to bear in mind that we are essentially different.

It's a form of "ego" protection that aims to make us feel comfortable with ourselves by trying to convince us that we're better or the other person worse.

So, on a personal level, focus on seeing others equally. You are neither better nor worse, and so you can learn from everyone. And that's how the other person can learn from you.

Equality, respect and trust are what effective communication is based on.

Another reason for the judgment and the failure of good communication in general is the misinterpretation of the original intent.

To understand the communication process, business theorist Chris Argyres has developed a framework called the Inference Ladder.

Better communication

This tool shows the steps the message is going through and how your original intention can differ from what the other person thinks you mean

Understanding these stages and recognizing your current position on the ladder can help avoid jumping to the wrong conclusions

From the top of the ladder, we begin to have an idea of what we want to say. If we're not aware of our intentions, we may respond to motives and say something completely different from our intentions.

The second degree of peace is what we are already saying. Because we communicate incompletely, what we often say is still different from our intentions, even if we are aware of them

The third degree of ladder may vary slightly, when the other person hears what you said, depending on disturbing factors or whether the other person listens or pays attention

Finally, at the bottom of the ladder, the other person uses what he thinks we meant from what we heard to jump to conclusions about our intentions.

This ladder is, of course, influenced by our specific beliefs and descriptive programming as described above.

How do we make sure we communicate and understand the real intentions?

First, it is necessary to have an open mind and awareness to avoid a quick judgment of the intentions of the other person

Then, understand where you're currently on the ladder.

Am I selective about what I hear? Do I explain what I think the other person means?

Finally, try to make sure that your current understanding of the message is in line with real intention by questioning your conclusions.

That'll let you lift the ladder.

Why did you draw this conclusion? Is the result correct? What do I suppose and why? Are my assumptions accurate? What data did you choose to use and why? What are the real facts I should use? Are there other points I can think of?

The most useful practical tool for direct communication is the following:

Once you've set yourself jumping between conclusions during the conversation, stop raising your hands and ask the other person the following:

"Just again, I heard you say...... I didn't understand that point very well. Can you help me understand exactly what you mean?"

It is self-restraint and patience to know true intentions that makes communication effective.

Good luck, and I'll see you at the top.

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بواسطة طالب مبتدئ (168 نقاط)  
+2 تصويتات

It is so important to know that everyone in this life has different things which we can learn them

Thanks a lot 

Your article is so important and useful in human communicate

بواسطة طالب عالمي (8.7ألف نقاط)  
0 تصويتات
Good morning

It’s nice information

Good job

Keep going
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